Friendships and Grace: Part 1

Handling the End of the Road

John 14:1 “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.”

Friendships are interesting.  Of all relationships, we take this one for granted the most.  We don’t realize how great a friendship we have until it ends.  We rarely think about the end game with our friendships. We don’t contemplate how, when or if a relationship will end. But when it does end, for whatever reason, it can throw us for a loop.  Have you ever lost your closest and dearest friend?  

In John 14:1-4, Jesus told His disciples, “Do not let your hearts be troubled,” because of His impending departure. Jesus had a promise and a destiny to fulfill, which was ultimately for His friends’ benefit.  This passage is a promise for us about our eternal lives.  Jesus talks about preparing a place for us to be with Him in heaven. (John 14:2-3) It makes us feel hopeful.   However, when Jesus spoke these words to His disciples, He was looking into the faces of His friends with whom He spent the last three years on a constant and intimate basis.  Of course, their hearts were heavy.  It is not surprising that Jesus’ friends felt anxious, worried, confused and saddened.  We all feel this when we lose a friend.

Every person has a calling to follow.  All of us have seasons in our lives, and the people that God sends into our lives during our various seasons are an extension of His grace.  I saw an internet meme that said, “Some people come into your life as blessings, others come in your life as lessons.” (Source unknown.) The season the friend was in our life was a gift from God as either a blessing or a lesson.

Although we might experience loss of friendship because of a person moving away, heading in a different direction, drifting apart, or betrayal, we do not have to be stuck in that moment of loss.  Reflect positively on the good of that season and that relationship.  God did not have to allow that person into our life, but by His grace, we receive a blessing or a lesson.  Whether the situation was good or bad, the relationship edified us. Rather than focus on the bad as a way to justify why the friendship no longer flourishes, remember the good about the relationship.  Rehearsing and nursing negativity sows seeds of bitterness, resentment, anger and anxiety from a “lack of closure.”

During His last and precious moments with His friends, Jesus encourages His comrades to trust God. (John 14:1 NLT)  When friendships end, we can trust God.  We can trust that He sent those individuals into our lives for a purpose, that He will graciously send other Godly connections for the next season, and that we have an imperishable friendship with Him.