And the Winner is...

1 John 5:4 “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.” (NLT)

Who doesn’t love winning?  Winning is the best! “If you’re not first, you are last.”  (Ricky Bobby, Talladega Nights)  There’s nothing like savoring the taste of sweet victory of contests in school, games at baby showers, Wii with my kids. I L-O-V-E to W-I-N.  On occasion, my desire to win has gotten out of hand.  I am so competitive that I actually can be obnoxious.  OK, not can be, I am obnoxious.  To deal with that issue, I try not to play many games.  It has been many years since I have had that feeling in my gut. It is an all or nothing feeling that comes when I am in the thick of battle. 

Imagine my delight when I came across 1 John 5:4, which says, “For every child of God defeats this evil world, and we achieve this victory through our faith.” (NLT)  *insert fist pump* I love that satan is a confirmed loser. I adore that every situation that the enemy thought would destroy my health, my finances, my calling, my destiny, etc., God turns around for my good and for His glory.  (Romans 8:28)  Every evil intention, every destructive plan directed towards me, and every malevolent objective, God has already purposed for my good. (Genesis 50:20)

I am a winner!  You are a winner! God declared in His eternal Word that His children defeat the world.  All of the ugliness, despair, hatred, violence and abuse is defeated.  We annihilate it.  The enemy does not have the final say. While we do not fight the battle, we control whether we are going to believe. Our faith catapults us from underdog to victor. 

Believing Jesus when everything looks hopeless, hoping in Him when there is nothing left, trusting God when everyone else has let us down, and looking for His glimmer of light in the darkness are the things that make us winners. Knowing what God says about me is the motivation I need to keep believing in Him because He says, “And the winner is, Jenni.”

Letting Go of Offense

1 Timothy 1:13-14 “although I was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man; but I obtained mercy because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus.”

If you are familiar with “church life,” you have probably attended a service that was followed by a repast or food served in the fellowship hall.  Several years ago, after one such service, I made my way to the church basement and grabbed a piece of cake and some red punch that had been spiked with 7-Up.  One of my girlfriends and her husband walked up while I chowed down, and she asked, “How’s the cake?”  With no thought, except here’s a chance for me to be funny, I replied in the most dramatic, parched and arid sounding voice, “It’s drrrryyyyyy!” My friend said, “I made it.”  “D’oh,” I screamed mentally.  Then I profusely apologized as her husband laughed.  I wish I could say that I rarely feasted on my own feet. I wish I could say that I hardly ever offend people with my words. I wish I could say that…I wish.  *sigh*

I am offensive sometimes. I say things that are hurtful, and I regret it.  I do things that are selfish and stupid.  Sometimes it is inadvertent; other times it isn’t. I hate how my words and actions offend God, and I hate hurting others, too.  However, when I have offended God, I know He offers me forgiveness. He is merciful and gracious.  But, when I offend people, the offense leaves an indelible mark. That person may never forgive me.  While we all are seekers of mercy and grace, we rarely dispense it.  Forgiveness is a seldom seen virtue. We treat it like a moral unicorn or Sasquatch. We are shocked to hear when forgiveness is given, and we doubt that it truly happened. Because I have been shown amazing grace, mercy, and forgiveness after the many times I have offended God and others, I try my best to extend the same to others who hurt me. It is not easy, but man-o-day, it is freeing!  I cast off shackles that connect me to what happened in the past. It can no longer hurt me. 

 

Mercy, grace, and forgiveness become easier to bestow on others when we remember that God lavishly and abundantly pours them onto us. He does so because of our ignorance.  Many of the offenses we experience usually come from a place of ignorance and unbelief.  Folks are focusing on their own pain.  People do not believe their actions are hurtful. In some instances, people think they are being helpful.  I am not offering ignorance and unbelief as an excuse for bad behavior, but we all can do some jacked up stuff. I am offering them as an explanation for why we do the things we do.  The baggage of offense grows heavier over time, but relief comes through giving and receiving mercy, grace, and forgiveness. 

Friendships and Grace: Part 2

Beloved

Colossians 3:12 “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;”

The other day my daughter asked to use to my special coffee mug to get a drink of water. I quickly told her, "No." Well, I kinda barked it at her.  Why? Because that is MY special mug! Coffee is not just about the taste, it is about the experience when you drink it. Things like where you sit when you take that first life-giving sip in the morning or the special cup you use to hold that sweet nectar are as important as how you take your java.  I didn’t want my special cup sullied by someone else using it.  

This reminded me of a similar moment I had with a friend a few years ago. During a conversation, a dear friend mentioned something about going on a road trip with another friend of hers.  I thought, “Uh ruh, you’re MY friend.  Why are you hanging out with her?”  I didn’t want her to have fun with someone else; I’m the special one, right? All that friend-goodness should be reserved just for me, right? Well, instead of thinking about how special she was, I thought of her the same way I thought about my coffee mug.

In John 21 we read that before Jesus ascended, Peter asked Jesus what was going to happen to John, the beloved friend of Jesus.  It is not that Jesus did not love the other disciples; He had a deeper or different connection to John.  Jesus essentially told Peter, “Don’t worry about what happens to John. It’s my business.”

We have heard of “6° of separation” where someone is friends with someone who is friends with someone and so on.  For some folks, this can be a challenge.  It is difficult to think that our friends also enjoy hanging out with somebody else.  Just like with our toys when we were kids, we do not want to share.  As adults, when it comes to friends, we say, “Mine!”

Remember, friendships are a matter of grace.  God allows special people into our lives and by His grace He nurtures, matures, and develops the friendships we need in the seasons we need them.  Rather than hate on our friend for having other friends, let’s celebrate that we are blessed to have that person in our lives.  What a testament to God’s goodness that He sends us friends who are well liked and amiable. 

By changing the way we view our friend’s friendships, we learn that we do not have to sabotage his or her friendships, try to tag along and be a third-wheel, put pressure on our friend to only spend time with us or pout when our friend is hanging out with someone else.   We can love and cherish our special time with our friends.  Knowing that our time is precious will motivate us to make it unique and memorable. 

Thankfully, we are friends of God.  Clearly, we wouldn’t be jealous of God’s friendships with others, right? Oh, please say, “Right.”  We rejoice that we have our own individual friendship with God and that others enjoy the beauty of intimate relationship with the Creator of the universe.  In His eyes, we are all beloved.

Friendships and Grace: Part 1

Handling the End of the Road

John 14:1 “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.”

Friendships are interesting.  Of all relationships, we take this one for granted the most.  We don’t realize how great a friendship we have until it ends.  We rarely think about the end game with our friendships. We don’t contemplate how, when or if a relationship will end. But when it does end, for whatever reason, it can throw us for a loop.  Have you ever lost your closest and dearest friend?  

In John 14:1-4, Jesus told His disciples, “Do not let your hearts be troubled,” because of His impending departure. Jesus had a promise and a destiny to fulfill, which was ultimately for His friends’ benefit.  This passage is a promise for us about our eternal lives.  Jesus talks about preparing a place for us to be with Him in heaven. (John 14:2-3) It makes us feel hopeful.   However, when Jesus spoke these words to His disciples, He was looking into the faces of His friends with whom He spent the last three years on a constant and intimate basis.  Of course, their hearts were heavy.  It is not surprising that Jesus’ friends felt anxious, worried, confused and saddened.  We all feel this when we lose a friend.

Every person has a calling to follow.  All of us have seasons in our lives, and the people that God sends into our lives during our various seasons are an extension of His grace.  I saw an internet meme that said, “Some people come into your life as blessings, others come in your life as lessons.” (Source unknown.) The season the friend was in our life was a gift from God as either a blessing or a lesson.

Although we might experience loss of friendship because of a person moving away, heading in a different direction, drifting apart, or betrayal, we do not have to be stuck in that moment of loss.  Reflect positively on the good of that season and that relationship.  God did not have to allow that person into our life, but by His grace, we receive a blessing or a lesson.  Whether the situation was good or bad, the relationship edified us. Rather than focus on the bad as a way to justify why the friendship no longer flourishes, remember the good about the relationship.  Rehearsing and nursing negativity sows seeds of bitterness, resentment, anger and anxiety from a “lack of closure.”

During His last and precious moments with His friends, Jesus encourages His comrades to trust God. (John 14:1 NLT)  When friendships end, we can trust God.  We can trust that He sent those individuals into our lives for a purpose, that He will graciously send other Godly connections for the next season, and that we have an imperishable friendship with Him.