Friendships and Grace: Part 2

Beloved

Colossians 3:12 “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering;”

The other day my daughter asked to use to my special coffee mug to get a drink of water. I quickly told her, "No." Well, I kinda barked it at her.  Why? Because that is MY special mug! Coffee is not just about the taste, it is about the experience when you drink it. Things like where you sit when you take that first life-giving sip in the morning or the special cup you use to hold that sweet nectar are as important as how you take your java.  I didn’t want my special cup sullied by someone else using it.  

This reminded me of a similar moment I had with a friend a few years ago. During a conversation, a dear friend mentioned something about going on a road trip with another friend of hers.  I thought, “Uh ruh, you’re MY friend.  Why are you hanging out with her?”  I didn’t want her to have fun with someone else; I’m the special one, right? All that friend-goodness should be reserved just for me, right? Well, instead of thinking about how special she was, I thought of her the same way I thought about my coffee mug.

In John 21 we read that before Jesus ascended, Peter asked Jesus what was going to happen to John, the beloved friend of Jesus.  It is not that Jesus did not love the other disciples; He had a deeper or different connection to John.  Jesus essentially told Peter, “Don’t worry about what happens to John. It’s my business.”

We have heard of “6° of separation” where someone is friends with someone who is friends with someone and so on.  For some folks, this can be a challenge.  It is difficult to think that our friends also enjoy hanging out with somebody else.  Just like with our toys when we were kids, we do not want to share.  As adults, when it comes to friends, we say, “Mine!”

Remember, friendships are a matter of grace.  God allows special people into our lives and by His grace He nurtures, matures, and develops the friendships we need in the seasons we need them.  Rather than hate on our friend for having other friends, let’s celebrate that we are blessed to have that person in our lives.  What a testament to God’s goodness that He sends us friends who are well liked and amiable. 

By changing the way we view our friend’s friendships, we learn that we do not have to sabotage his or her friendships, try to tag along and be a third-wheel, put pressure on our friend to only spend time with us or pout when our friend is hanging out with someone else.   We can love and cherish our special time with our friends.  Knowing that our time is precious will motivate us to make it unique and memorable. 

Thankfully, we are friends of God.  Clearly, we wouldn’t be jealous of God’s friendships with others, right? Oh, please say, “Right.”  We rejoice that we have our own individual friendship with God and that others enjoy the beauty of intimate relationship with the Creator of the universe.  In His eyes, we are all beloved.